Part 87 Inpatient again (old dogs and criminal minds)


Suddenly I am sick again. Where are my pills? We phone Dr. Ra- who promptly suggests that we return to the hospital. I am admitted and weighed while lying in bed, checking in at a dismal 140 pounds. I haven’t weighed this little in decades. The physicians propose that I may have a virus, or that I am experiencing some complications related to the esophagus. All I know is that I am quite ill, enough to come willingly back to this depressing place.

After several hours of surprisingly continuous sleep and, I am certain, many drugs to comfort me, I awake Friday morning feeling much better. I am on a TV watching kick and view the films “Old Dogs”, “Star Trek 2009”, and two episodes of “Criminal Minds”. One of the “Criminal Minds” is a very unsettling tale about three trapped teenagers who are forced by their captor to decide which two get to live and be set free and which one must die. The plot, like the show actually is pretty sick and I am bothered that I am watching it at all.

That evening I am discharged after the usual long bedside wait. Becah and I stop at La Madeleine and I have coffee and eggs, which I eat tentatively. As soon as we arrive home, I am retching. Becah is at her proverbial wits’ end, and in panic calls her mother (CC) to come over and give her nursing assistance. I take anti-nausea and pain pills every chance I can throughout the evening and remain in bed all day Saturday, raising my head only to ask for more drugs. On Sunday morning I drag myself up, still shaky, and sit with CC in the den, watching a Hallmark Christmas movie about a child in a small town who disappeared. My bags are still packed and propped next to my bed in the event that I must be whisked back to the hospital.

The bags are not needed, though, as I continue to improve on Monday. I watch an Eric Clapton/Steve Winwood concert on DVD, followed by a 1976 Cat Stevens concert. The children are with their grandparents in Beaumont, so I am able to lounge around uninterrupted. I am better still the following day, actually getting out of the house and accompanying Becah to several shops (including Victoria’s Secret, always good for my mood) before having some gumbo at Rockfish. At night, Becah takes a break with her girlfriends while I watch Yes in concert and eat vegetable soup, followed by peaches and ice cream.

This is as close to heaven as I have been in a while. Nothing grand or magnificent really, but then again, maybe the smaller pleasures are the things in life that really are magnificent.



Part 88 Milestone


My health incline continues. I go shopping, listening to George Harrison’s “All Things Must Pass” CD. The kids return in the afternoon. At lunch, though, I am jolted when I choke on the vegetable lasagna I am eating. I take a prescribed Dexilant for this, feeling totally discouraged at this (yet another) setback. I walk to the park with the kids in the afternoon and meet a lady who remarks that my children look like twins. I am surprised by this observation, since I think that Bree looks just like me while Brooke favors my wife’s Lavender family. Later in the evening I try cheddar soup with a little more lasagna and have better luck, feeling better in response.

December 23, 2010. An important date for me. Exactly one year ago I received my dreadful diagnosis. I am now healed from that malady. I try to fix this in my mind as it wanders to ruminating about all that has gone wrong since my original treatment regimen. We have dinner at Luby’s, where I very cautiously attempt a dinner of fish, mashed potatoes, and broccoli, with limited success. Everyone else is zipping through their meal, and I find myself being a poor sport that I cannot. Afterward, we enjoy a chilly hayride looking at the multitude of Christmas lights in the Prestonwood subdivision. At home later that evening Becah and I start another fight, finally reconciling and expressing gratitude to God for all of our blessings instead of complaining about how we’ve been shorted. I awake at two in the morning to sleep with Brooke, honoring her earlier request.