Part 56 Re-entry/I return to the living


The first day after this crisis I am still dazed, although I am able to speak. I spend most of my time, however, lying in bed, still in a state of shock over the events that have transpired. Becah assists the nurses and assistants as they reposition me, rolling me over on my side to prevent bed sores. I am helpless to doing anything.

Becah talks to me about what has happened to me. I realize the clanging that upset me so much came from the machine sounds from the MRI. Doctors come by and offer their theories of explanation. One physician surmises that I suffered a stroke. Another doctor reports that it should be more accurately called a TIA (or transient ischemic attack). This is described as being a “mini stroke” caused by disruption in cerebral flood flow with contralateral body paralysis (in my case, the event taking place in my right brain affecting the left side of my body). Typical symptoms include dimming of vision, slurred speech and mental confusion. These effects are typically resolved within 24 hours.

Another chilling possibility is that I suffered an allergic reaction to Demerol. For some reason, the anesthesiologist opted to not give me propofol or ¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬versed, commonly administered sedatives, which they had used before on me, and instead tried a drug which, while commonly used on patients in previous generations, is now given infrequently (Dr. Bu- will later tell me he was taught in school to never administer this anesthetic because of the potential for severe adverse effects).

I listen to explanations, but little is really sinking in at this time, except that I am lucky to be alive.