Part 48 Popsicle


Starting the weekend off, Becah drives her grandmother home and drops the kids off with her mother. Later we relax and watch an episode of a favorite show, “Friday Night Lights”, then finish another “Columbo”. I lick a raspberry popsicle –the first food I’ve been able to eat in over three months – and sadly I consider this to be an important event. They said I must get accustomed to baby steps. I sleep restlessly at night, and spend some of the time on the couch. The following morning we visit the Honda dealership to test drive the CRV and Pilot (when all else fails, go shopping for a new car!), but we slip out soon after waiting excessively for a salesman to run figures on costs. Becah has lunch at the Panda Express and afterwards I have my lunch using the feeding tube, sitting in the car while she runs into a store. The kids return that evening. I manage to eat a frozen apple juice popsicle and some vanilla ice cream, before experiencing another restless night’s sleep. The next morning at church I am accosted by many people who are excited about my popsicle eating; it seems that someone posted the “events” on Facebook and now I am big news.

Becah drives the kids to a friend’s house to play with their children. I exercise at home, doing yoga, while listening to one of the greatest pop albums of all time, “Pet Sounds” by the Beach Boys. I feel stronger. Music can do more than doctors can sometimes.


Part 49 Memorial


Memorial Day is here on the last day of May 2010, and my parents come to visit. My dad continues to cognitively slip away from the world. He lives truly in the present, unable to remember what he said or heard just minutes before. I must practice being patient with him as he asks me the same questions repeatedly (what kind of work I do, when I am retiring, can he have some more coke). He has always been a leader in my life, but I cannot follow him now because he is lost. He is a veteran, so Memorial Day would normally be a poignant time for him, but I’m not sure he remembers now that this is a special day at all. I have forgotten its meaning too, because I am too immersed in myself. My day is lifted up just because I am able to enjoy a mango all natural popsicle.

After the parents leave, our family goes for a late lunch of Mexican food. I sip on Becah’s beer – my first taste of alcohol in months. It stings a little, although it is not altogether unpleasant.



Part 50 Twenties


June is normally a joyful month for me, the gateway to summer, signifying sunshine, more vacation time, and a casualness of attitude that summer allows. But I anticipated wrapping all the problems up by now and throwing them out. This was to be over by summer, at least in accordance with my timeline. I work a little today, then try to meet my “20s” obligations. That would be 20 minutes of jogging for endurance, 20 of weights for strength, 20 of yoga for flexibility, 20 of sunshine for body nutrition, and 20 minutes sitting at the dinner table for nutrition and family cohesion. There are probably other 20s to consider, but if I complete this group I feel that I am accomplishing something positive. Accomplishing the 20s has been hard these days, with my varying levels of endurance. At dinner tonight I find it difficult to sit, not just because everyone is enjoying a tasty meal of Mexican food and peaches, but also because my mucous has intensified after several days of improvement. I eventually leave the table to sit on the couch and watch baseball; I snooze off until awaking to an exciting finish when Lance Berkman singles in two runs in the last inning for a come-from-behind Astros victory.