Part 21 People Like Us/drip drip drip...

Part 21 People like us/drip, drip, drip


The next morning is drizzly; the weather map shows a solid mass of rain covering the entire state. Nevertheless, I am upbeat this morning (I hope it’s not just the steroid injection I got yesterday). Driving to Kingwood for my seventh radiation treatment, I listen to an old Mamas and Papas CD called “People Like Us”. In the chemo room waiting for my daily shot I watch as CNN tells me about a huge Toyota auto recall because the autos are inexplicably accelerating without warning. A man receiving chemotherapy jokes about being a sex slave as a child. I really have to listen to all these things while I wait? Drip, drip, drip goes the chemo through the many IVs…I’m reading Joel Osteen, who informs me in his book title “It’s Your Time”. I also flip through another book called “Saltwater Buddha” which tells me that I should stop making assumptions about how life should be but rather accept what is. Everything changes. Life comes into being, then passes away. There is a passiveness to this that bothers me, but I choose to reframe this into watching the bad evolve into good. I also need a more active life, with less accepting and more doing.

A storm introduces the next day, and subsequently, more drizzle. My feeding tube is leaking and seems to have stopped working, so I must see Dr. Br- ,who installed it, as soon as my treatment is over, or I will waste away (achieving victory over this disease the hard way). At the treatment center I hear even more depressing news about runaway cars, Michael Jackson’ doctor possibly being indicted for manslaughter, and various people being shot around town. After treatment, I travel to see Dr. Br-, who abruptly yanks my tube out and replaces it. I am freaked out and instantly relieved, as he smiles brightly through the process. My sleep that night is disturbed by dry mouth, chills, and my new tube briefly leaking again. This combination is taking its toll on me. Only when Becah prays for a friend who is scheduled for liver surgery this morning for one of his many longstanding medical ailments do I regain some perspective that humanity involves more than just me.