Part 15 & 16

Part 15 Tie a Yellow Ribbon ‘Round the Crunchy Granola Rollercoaster


The next day (Saturday) it continues to be frigid, the weather dropping into the teens, and we leave trickles of water going in the faucets. Crazy songs randomly skate through my mind, disco songs like “Rollercoaster” and sappy ballads like “Tie a Yellow Ribbon ’Round the Old Oak Tree”. Everything tastes weird today, even water. I go to sleep but wake up hourly.

Sunday morning Becah and the kids go to church, braving the icy cold outside. I stay at home and doze off and on. Later I stare at the TV, watching New England get routed by Baltimore followed by a close game between Arizona and Green Bay. The two baked potatoes I eat for lunch surprisingly taste pretty good.

Sunday night is a repeat of my erratic sleep patterns these days. I might be able to make two successive hours without awaking…

After a weekend break (?) and breakfast with kids (coffee and granola tasting good) I return to the doctor’s office with Neil Diamond’s “Crunchy Granola Suite” and “Longfellow Serenade” entertaining my mind. They draw some more blood in Dr. Bu-’s office and weigh me. I’m 177 now, a whopping 20 pound drop from the 197 that I swelled up to just days ago! So of course I’m up for a big Mexican food lunch at Berryhill (spinach tamales, beans, rice, and lots of chips). To my delight, it is a tasty meal that I can scarf down with no reservations whatsoever.


Part 16 The Mask

After this, I travel to Kingwood to get fitted for a mask that is supposed to be my friend during radiation therapy. I am noticeably anxious as the technicians discuss the procedure with me, which involves placing a section of hot plastic over my head that will slowly melt into the exact shape of my face. I express my uncertainty that I can handle this. Ever since I was a child who was anesthetized for a surgery I have been claustrophobic when anything is placed over my face. Dr. N- suggests that I come back tomorrow and try again after first taking an anti-anxiety pill that she will prescribe for me. But I am already here and would only have to do this again. I get bold. I pray. I meditate. As I glance around the radiation room a beautiful blonde technician enters. This doesn’t hurt things. At least one of these factors convinces me to stay and get this over with.

I close my eyes. The technicians place the plastic over me as my hands grasp a band attached to a cord that wraps around my feet to hold me rigidly in place. Small “tattoos” are inked on my chest for precision positioning later. It is odd, lying here, being manipulated by these strangers. This must be what it feels like when aliens abduct you.

But in a much shorter time than I imagined and with surprising ease I am through with this and back home. The pasta dinner (always my favorite) doesn’t taste right. Despite taking calming medications before bed I experience a disturbing nightmare and awake at 11:30, and after dozing back off, I awake frequently throughout the night with dry mouth.