Monday, August 13, 2012

Part 132 Inhalers and chances


Two or three times a day a nurse enters with good intentions. It is again time for my inhaler treatment. As I have said before, I never like masks of any kind placed over my face. I am told that my lungs are still recovering, and for my benefit I must undergo these sessions to clear them. A machine is turned on and a mask is placed over my face. Warm, wet mist fills my lungs. This is not as unpleasant as the smell of the added chemical that is supposed to increase the effectiveness of the mist treatments. I cannot describe the smell, but it varies from being mildly unpleasant to downright horrible. I am to hold the mask against my face for what takes about 30 minutes.

The nurse leaves the room, having better things to do than watch me grimace for half an hour. When she leaves, I try to comply, but find myself pulling the mask off for brief periods of time. I put the mask back on, take quick tiny breaths, and then remove it again. Eventually, the time expires, and the nurse returns to hear the machine quiet. After a few final sputters of mist, the session is over. I ask not to be awakened in the middle of the night when my next trial is due. The nurse says that will be fine. I realize that I should participate as directed with every doctor order, but sometimes I simply can’t. I will take my chances by slacking on this one.




Part 133 Real time vs. hospital time, or Einstein was right!


Jim drops by to check on me, and again I suppress the urge to ask him if he really wants to be a doctor, since he clearly would make a good football player. He has another procedure for me that will only take a few minutes of my time. Like most hospital procedures, the decision has already been made for me – my input is minimal. I have been able on occasion to ask that I not be disturbed at three in the morning to have more blood drawn, and sometimes my wish is honored. But today’s procedure is one that benefits me, so I utter “sure”.

This brings about a discussion of relativity. I have been in enough hospitals now to know that when they tell you five minutes, you can disregard that claim outright. Unless of course you are talking the last five minutes of a basketball game. With all the timeouts and delays in one of those, five minutes swells to a much longer period of time. In hospitals, you can’t always get a verbal response from the nurses’ station in five minutes, much less have someone come in to your room in that time.

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