Part 180 The other side of despair


December 23, 2011. It has been exactly two years since I received the dreadful news that ruined Christmas and sent my life tumbling for many long and remorseful days thereafter. A year later it was all not just a distant memory, as was optimistically predicted by one doctor. Even now, its memory is too close for me to slide too comfortably into the easy chair without looking over my shoulder to see what could be creeping up. I have gained a few pounds and my strength and stamina have improved, but I am still “on the mend”. I still many days have to stop and rest, sometimes just after eating a meal, as my heart races and fatigue sets in.

But I have come through this alive. This holiday will be joyful, and many more days will follow in that spirit. I am home, not in a hospital. I can enjoy activities again – just life itself, whatever that may be. Everything looks much better from this side of despair.

The day becomes increasingly chillier, and I enjoy some time at the school playground with the kids. I drive to do a few errands, listening to Traffic’s “Heaven Is In Your Mind” CD (indeed, it is). I pick up Time magazine’s Person of the Year annual issue – this year a tribute to “the protestor”, that sometimes infamous but often anonymous individual who takes the reins away from idle politicians at the top and steps up to improve the world from the bottom up. Later Becah and the kids visit our neighbor before going to eat at Rincon. I opt instead to stay home and watch the Beatles “Help” movie while drinking a few beers and enjoying a favorite combo of mine, pizza and peas.

Later Becah and I transfer my presentation to a power point while listening to Christmas music on cable TV. Before going to bed I read George Rodrigue’s “Blue Dog Christmas” a book about the holiday season and of the author’s evolution as an artist.

Even with work to do over the holidays, isn’t life sweet?