Part 152 Homecoming happiness


My children were so glad to see me, back at home after yet another setback to them and another dose of insecurity that they don’t need. I am still battling the extremes of dry mouth and excessive mucous, and I’m very shaky. My throat is very sore, which I assume is the result of the stent. I have a protein/weight gain shake, then later some cream of shrimp soup that goes down fairly well. I have observed that food (especially shakes, chocolate milk and other sweets) never tastes right when a stent is placed anywhere near my mouth. I am routinely adding honey to sweeten foods.

I need a lot of rest, no matter how light my activity level is.

During the night the j-tube leaks, but I still sleep well, just being back home. An upset stomach greets me in the morning. Eggs, grits, toast and Pepsi go down well at breakfast, but only if I take very small bites and sips. Before I get away to work, my tube starts to leak again (GG assists me in stopping it). I get to work and talk with several friends, manage to do a few tasks, and stay about a half day.

I am in the process of sorting through some of my audio CDs. I have so many, and I realize life is too short to keep and listen to weak music. I am listening to a Jeff Buckley disc, which although is not moving me greatly, does have its moments, being at times beautiful, odd, and haunting. It makes the keeper list.

After a lunch of mushroom and cheddar soup, I must change the j-tube pad after more leaking. I lie down and read a little Watership Down. When Becah leaves for the store with the kids, I play the new Yes CD. I have eagerly awaited this and enjoy it despite the fact that it is missing vocalist Jon Anderson’s imagination and singing skills, as well as Rick Wakeman’s keyboard wizardry. Still it sounds nice and fresh, and you can hardly blame a band that sets its standards so high.

Dinner is veggie meatballs with pasta and alfredo sauce, which is exciting to me. At bedtime, I read to Breanna, the story of the exciting life of the brave woman Harriet Tubman, whose courage rescued many from slavery. I read a little more of my book later, and ease off to sleep, again content just to be here.