Part 157 Hearts and hopes


My garage is filled with a lot of stuff, much of which I could part with. I spend a morning dredging up some items, when suddenly my heart starts racing. I come in quickly and lie down, fatigued. During the afternoon I watch three episodes from a DVD of a recent series called “Dollhouse”, a fascinating group of tales about secret organizations and manipulation of individuals’ identities. That evening I make some very tasty tuna creole. I go to sleep early but wake up at one in the morning, and am unable to get back to sleep for two hours.

The following week marks the first full time work week for me in some time. I am tired and experience some of the accelerated heartbeat again on my first work day. This is disturbing, but it recedes when I sit back in a chair or lie down. By the second day, I am doing better. I proceed cautiously, though. There is much of the school year ahead of me.

Becah and I begin planning next summer’s trip. I have missed two summer vacations, replacing them with dismal hospital stays instead, so we feel that we are due an excursion. We discuss possible cruises from Florida to the Bahamas. We discuss a possible driving trip to include the Florida Gulf coast panhandle and New Orleans. We excitedly jump across internet sites, looking for deals, possibilities. Later Becah and I dream of next summer over dinner at Berryhill’s. I am soon stuffed as I down glass after glass of water to cool the spicy food, which nowadays stings my mouth. But it feels great.

After a fired up Friday at work, my stamina going strong, I drive over to Brooke’s preschool for their book fair. An unexpected storm blows in, throwing lots of wind and lightening around but very little rain. That night we enjoy a mushroom, spinach, and onion pizza at DoubleDaves. I am ecstatic that I am now able to enjoy so many of my favorite foods again.

October to me means that autumn has officially arrived. Today’s cooler, clear Saturday is my proof. The joy of summer must be relinquished for the novelty of the fall. In my youth, that meant a new school year (for which I was not always ready), new fall TV shows, football season, and, eventually, a sprinkling of special holidays.

My friend Mike comes by in the afternoon, and he and my family drive over to the nearby Klein stadium to watch the football game. Our real reason today for going, though, is so Bree and Brooke can do their dance routine at halftime with the big girls. The day is full of popcorn and bright skies, despite the fact that our team is clobbered 41-3 by the opponents.

The following day is world communion Sunday at church. I am greeted by a stream of people wishing me health. During the service Todd the organist, accompanied by a cellist, plays “The River Is Wide”, and the rendition is nothing less than gorgeous. The accumulation of so many events and moments lately has lifted me up. I embrace this hopefulness in my life. And it is not just during this moment at church. It is something more profound than this.

On Monday I drive to see Dr. Ly-, who comments that I look “great” and my office exam is “perfect”. He sends me for some routine blood work and wants to see me again in a few months. My world continues to brighten.