Part 140 Paralyzed



Early in the morning I get up to let the dog out, then walk into the bathroom, feel an odd sensation of fatigue, the room darkens abruptly, and I am on the floor. Becah leaps out of bed and grabs to support me, lifting me up.

Later I pull myself out of bed and walk a little in the den as Becah gets into her cardio workout with fitness guru Gilad on video. I check my blood pressure, which is a very woozy 78/54. I weigh in at 145. Later I check my temperature – it is slightly elevated.

A visit in the afternoon to my ENT, Dr. Co-, results in a scope that, according to her, indicates my left vocal cord has been paralyzed as a result of the surgery. She has a troubled look on her face, and responds unconvincingly to my desperate questions that it may be a temporary condition. Becah and I are crushed, after all we have endured with my oral difficulties, at the possibility that the surgery that was to have saved me could have damaged me so. The doctor reiterates that, without a properly functioning vocal cord, safely swallowing food will be impossible. The flap on the cord functions in a way that it moves as food comes down, allowing its passage into the esophagus. Without this movement, the food would instead drift into my lungs, and that would be disastrous.

We have a meeting tomorrow with Dr. Be-, the vocal specialist who checked out my mouth once before. Dr. Bl-, who frequently refers patients to her, has already suggested that we consult her expertise.

I am getting more dejected each day, with all the specialists and pros who are unable to resolve my condition. Instead, they refer me to other specialists and pros. I feel like I am caught in a loop, and I’m increasingly nervous when the best of the best are farming me out, looking for answers elsewhere.